Dear Mr. Burnham

A little letter

Having lived in Manchester for eighteen years, seven of which was working in Wigan, you can imagine how interested I was to hear your speech on what you would do with our money when you became Prime Minister.

After working for over forty years and never having had a day off sick or being unemployed, I was looking forward to policies that would recognise this. And also the fact that I've saved little pots of money as I went along, so I would not be a burden on anyone when I got older. Even, a thank you might be nice.

Anyway, enough about me. In your speech it was a bit unclear how lots of exciting stuff would be paid for. Or in fact, how it might be achieved. But I was very impressed by your vow to have number 10 Downing Street in Wigan itself on a part-time basis. Genius. Mondays and Fridays working from home with a policeman outside your front door. Means you can sit in your jim jams when on calls to foreign presidents. Saves a lot of time I find, and it's a great place to achieve "growth in every postcode." You mostly wear t-shirts so I don't think they'll notice.

Apart from that, I didn't hear any mention of technological advances in AI, defence, the NHS, the benefits bill, immigration, I could go on, but I won't bore you as I'm sure there is a plan. I think most of it entails giving large sums of our money to mayors across the country to spend away. You will have worked out, of course, that most of them will very likely be from the Reform party, so I think that's particularly generous of spirit.

Anyhow, good luck Mr Burnham. But may I just ask that you don't raid anymore of my own piggy bank as it's getting a bit low after Rachel's forays. I'm hoping to live another fifteen to twenty years yet and as this goes on, it looks like it might run out before then. Toodle pip. I'm just off to make a brew.

Yours sincerely

Susie